The Pranks
by Minerva's Daughter232
Summary: Severus and Minerva try a muggle passtime. Pranking. And both are really good at it.
1. The prank that started it all

"You didn't." Albus said.

"I did." Minerva said. They were sitting in the staff room discussing the prank that the said professor pulled on one Severus Snape.

"You _do_ know that he is going to kill you, right?"

" Oh, sure. Have little faith in the woman who managed to turn the Minister to a rat and he didn't notice for a half hour."

"I'll give you credit for that, but this is Severus. He's actually intelligent."

"I know _ that,_ but I'm cleverer."

"Oh really?"

"Really. How many times have I pranked Severus this year alone?"

"About a hundred."

"And how many times did he either notice or figure out it was me?"

"err...ten?"

"My case closes. Now, three gallons says he comes in blaming the Marauders."

"Your on. Three gallons says he comes in blaming _you._"

"MINERVA! I WILL KILL YOU!" Severus screamed, bursting through the door. Minerva cursed under her breath and gave Albus three gallons as promised.

"And why would that be?"she asked, putting on a look of pure innocence.

"You charmed my hair to change color every two seconds, dyed my robes pink, painted my nails baby blue, took a picture of me, and gave it to the Marauders!" he shouted, pointing out his new look. Minerva and Albus had to bite their tongues so as to not laugh.

"I am truly sorry for your loss and will get back to you later." she said, disappearing.

"What loss? The only loss will be your life if you don't turn me normal!"

Minerva reappeared. "Fist, your loss is the loss of your pride and dignity. Second, I can't turn you normal. I'm sorry, but no one can fix your mental issues." she said, and Albus cracked up.

"Shut up old man"-at which point Albus laughed even harder- " Minerva, stop this hair stuff, and clean my robes and fix anything that you did!"

"Oh, alright. But let me take one more picture?"

"NO!"

"Alright! Calm down!" she said. Se swished her wand and Severus' hair changed from dark blond back to black, his nails cleared, and his robes also turned back to black.

"Thank you." he said, leaving the room. Minerva looked at the door for about one half-second, and collapsed on the floor in a fit on hysterical laughter.


	2. Severus fights back and might die for it

Severus tip-toed into Minerva's room, holding a particular potion vial in his hand. He poured the contents in the glass of water beside her bed. He looked at the inhabitants of the bed. Minerva and Albus were wrapped in each other's embrace.

"Ohhh this is sooooo cute! I think I should take a picture and give it to the Marauders!" Severus whispered. He took out his wand and took a picture. He made sure to get the wedding bands in the shot. Minerva began to stir, so he hurried out, and Prepared to be murdered.

Minerva walked into the Great Hall, wearing a glamor. She hurried to Poppy, hoping she didn't look to conspicuous.

* * *

><p>"What's wrong, Min"she could tell she was wearing a glamor, but she didn't have the gift of seeing through them like the rest of the professors.

"Poppy, may I show you something? In private?" Minerva asked. Poppy nodded and followed her friend out of the hall, and in to a classroom.

Minerva took the glamor off, and Poppy nearly screamed. Minerva had huge boils on her skin, everywhere in sight, and Poppy guessed there were some in places you wouldn't normally show.

"What the devil happened to you?" she cried.

"Shh! I don't know! I drank my water this...Oh bloody hell."

"What?"

"Who has been trying to prank me for sooooo long?"

"Severus?"

"Correct. And have you heard who 'accidentally' gave a picture to the Marauders?"

"Se...Ohhh. And the Marauders gave him boil bangs."

"Duh! Now I just have to figure out a way to kill them all."

"Why don't we just get you to the infirmary and see what we can do, then talk about murdering a student."

Minerva nodded and followed Poppy out of the room.

* * *

><p>"You pranked my wife?" Albus asked Severus.<p>

"Yes I did."

"You are amazing my friend."

"I've been told."


	3. That morning, Severus gets inked

Minerva sneaked into the staffroom with a bottle of red ink, spello tape, and a piece of string in her pocket. She walked to the cabinet with the coffee.

"Oh dear, dear Severus. You have a lot to learn." she said as she place the topless bottle in front of the coffee. She taped one end of the string to the pot, and the other to the inside of the cabinet door. Carefully, she closed the door.

'And _that_ is haw you get payback." she said, rushing to her rooms.

"Bl-" Severus started.

"No swearing, Severus." Albus warned. Severus glared at him.

"Your wife pranked me. _Again._" Severus said, trying to get the red ink off of his robes. Albus looked at his friend.

"As she is so good at doing." He said. The feud between his wife and her childhood friend was funny. Minerva always had the upper hand, but Severus _did_ out up a good fight.

"Shut up." Severus said. Just then, Minerva walked in.

"Oh really, Severus. Just use a cleaning charm. And be more careful when you grade essays." she said, picking up her cat and hurrying out.

"I'm so much cleverer that her." Severus said.

"Keep telling yourself that, Dear." Poppy said from across the room.


	4. Later that day, Min gets pinned

"Today, you will be turning rats into goblets. Points will be given for creativity and non-resemblance to a rat and points will be taken for inappropriate decoration, or resemblance to a rat." You know the spell, begin." Minerva told her class. They immediately began working. Severus appeared at the door.

"Come in," Minerva said. A few students looked up.

"Finniagan, if you do that to your rat again I will flay you alive." She said, and the students went back to work. Severus strode over to her desk, his black robes billowing out behind him.

"Hello, Severus. How are you?"

"Fine. How about you? Excited, I hope."

"why should I be?"

"Aren't you and Albus expecting?"

"Shh! How did you know?"

"I have a_ special _relationship with our dear Poppy."

he said, walking past her chair.

"_Strange. I usually have those conversations with the Marauders." _she thought, sitting down.

"OW!" she screamed, jumping up from her chair.

"Is there something wrong, Professor?" Lily Evans asked.

"Professor Snape's brain." Minerva mumbled. All of the Gryffindors burst out laughing, while the Slytherins stared at them. Minerva guessed that she wouldn't be able to calm them down again, so she dismissed the class.

"_Severus is sooooo going to get it!" _she thought,and her trained ears heard a gulp from outside the door.


	5. The Christmas surprise

Minerva was rubbing her swollen belly at the Head table. Albus smiled at her. It was a well-known fact that Christmas was the favorite holiday of these two professors. And the fact that a prank was in store for Severus made the already happy Minerva overjoyed.

The hall was filled with students singing, Peeves acting mischievous, and our two favorite professors planning pranks on each other. Minerva was praying that tonight's feast included cream pie, and Severus had a handful of wizard crackers that the Marauders modified in his pocket.

"Hello Severus."Minerva said as he sat down next to her.

"Happy Christmas Min, Albus."he said. Albus nodded a greeting to Severus and stood.

"Happy Christmas! Let us eat!" he said, sitting back down. Minerva was suppressing a laugh.

"What?"

"Those were the best words you've used." she said, adding foods to her plate.

"Thank you." Albus said, noticing the strange combinations on his wife's plate.

"Hey, Min. Why don't you try these?" Severus asked, showing her the crackers.

"Alright, but only one." she said. Severus nodded. Minerva picked the middle one and pulled it. A cloud engulfed her. A minute later, it clear up, and poor Minerva had green hair. But she was laughing.

"Peeves! Look! Over there!" she cried. She picked up a cream pie pie as Severus turned back. She smacked the pie on his face. The whole hall cracked up.

"Wait for it... Mail's here!" Poppy said as a snowy white owl plopped down on Severus's head.

"This is the best Christmas ever!"


	6. 6 yrs later, kid pranks Sev

"Uncle Severus!" cried Apollo, running to greet his godfather.

"Apollo!" said Severus, opening his arms to catch his barreling godson. Apollo tackled Severus, all-the-while laughing hysterically.

"Hello, Severus." called Minerva from the doorway.

"Are you going to help me?'

"Nope, it would be hazardous to my health." she said, walking towards the pair, holding Apollo's twin sister, Artemis.

Apollo got up, still laughing, and ran to his mother. Severus stood and followed them. Together, they walked into the dinning room.

"It looks good, Mummy." Artemis said, looking at the food as she sat down next to her brother.

"Thank you, sweetheart." said Minerva as Albus took his place next to his wife. Severus sat on the other side of Minerva. Apollo jumped down form his chair and ran to his room.

"He's okay?" Severus asked.

"Yep, he's just getting somming." Artemis said matter-of-fact-ly. Sure enough, little Apollo came running back with a box of peanut brittle.

"dear, after dinner." Minerva said, shaking her head.

"It's for Uncle Severus!" he said, handing the box to him.

"Thanks, 'Pollo." he said. But when he opened it, a rubber snake popped out.

"Brilliant, Apollo!" Minerva cried, jumping out of her seat with glee.

"Ohhh, you are just like your mother." Severus told Apollo, who jumped onto his lap with a cute puppy-dog expression.

A/N: And with that, folks, I take a bow, and another. Oh thank you for this lovely rose! Ohhh I do _adore _chocolate... This plaque will look great next to my Oscar...


End file.
